BLOW YO MIND!

Ok...first dabble into this blog thing...guess its kinda like a conversation...but without all that unnecessary personal interaction (that's how the plague started, ya know!!)

I like to pester my co workers with a daily does of "Blow YO MIND!", just some things that if you think about too much will cause some form of aneurysm in the sub-cortex region, in turn causing blood to pool in the inner ear canal, off-setting balance and causing the thinker to wake up several hours later in a strange room...wearing someone else's pants. So...you've been warned...

TODAY'S "BLOW YO MIND"

I am a student of history and all things science. If not for a portable laptop computer with a wireless connection, my wife, I am sure, would have left me many years ago after having to endure my constant flipping between History and Discovery on the 300 channel cable service we have...288 of which I have deemed unnecessary and superfluous. It should be noted that my continued letter writing campaign to Comcast has NOT resulted in a revised "basic package" consisting of one local news channel, history and discovery (close minded bastards!). But I digress...

I have been fascinated by a natural occurrence called "Polar Shift". It happens from time to time when the magnetic poles shift form North to South. That is...your compass is pointing the wrong way...or to be more precise...the colored half of your compass is pointing the wrong way (since the north point is normally red...well...you get the picture). Some have theorized that 2012 will be the next polar shift (there is a whole nother thread on that one...but if you're not aware...well, look it the fuck up!), and that will be caused by the Earth passing through the galactic center point (think our little solar system rotating around each other and the whole mess of us rotating around the galaxy...and passing the center ever 26,000 years or so). I have been a student of this for some time, and while it would cause some confusion (turn your dashboard compass around and we're all set), I assumed it wouldn't be all that catastrophic. Here comes the blow yo mind part...

I read only THIS WEEK (note previous years of study), that this is not in fact a fanciful change in electromagnetism (oooo...pretty lights), but is in fact a shift of the entire crust of the earth 180 degrees.

I'll let that settle in...

One more time...the entire FUCK CRUST! 180 DEGREES!!

We become Argentina.

And is doesn't happen in a few weeks, like a slow fun vacation cruise through the lower latitudes (weeee, the equator, quick honey, flush the toilet and see if its changes directions!) NO! It happens in a few HOURS! Whiplashing through the atmosphere at speeds only imagined by the elderly drivers on interstate 95, in their perceptions of the other drivers who are driving like so many flying mammals emerging from the gates of the nether regions. Incomprehensible to their feeble minds as they curse through their overly salivating lips, and apply less and less pressure to the accelerator, fearing that any more forward momentum would cause them to gain mass as they surely must be approaching the speed of light ITSELF!

Now, I should caveat this with the fact that this is only a theory.

One of 2.

This reminds me of a time only a mere 60 years ago, when, standing on the wind swept desert plains, a man, whose name is lost to history, looked up into the mid-morning sky, admiring the crystal unblemished blue, with faint whispers of clouds. He turned to the tall slender man standing next to him, fedora hat a jaunty list to the right side, and said " Uh, Mr. Oppenheimer, you know, um, there's a pretty good chance that we could actually set the atmosphere ablaze and kill every living thing on the planet, turning this pristine Paradise into a flaming inferno, followed shortly by a barren cold rock floating in space." And the tall man, hand positioned ever so slightly above a large electrical switching mechanism, turned to his astute colleague, with a thoughtful look on his weathered face and said...

"eh...fuck it!"

So...don't dwell on this too much...not much we could do even if the scientific community did tell us that we're only 39 months from riding a planet sized tilt-a-whirl to our deaths.

But it would be nice to know...there's a lot of booze that could be put to good use before then.

Till next time...

oh...and is the soul finger the one located between the ring and index?